Captain America – the embodiment of all that is right in the good old USA. A weak
and feeble man transformed into the perfect human by a country that needs his help.
But a blogger? Well, sure. While Captain America is a bit short on superpowers, he
is capable of unbelievable stamina and super speed. Not to mention he drives a
Harley and carries a frigging shield.
But what specific characteristics would make Captain America a good blogger? What
would he have to offer the blogging community?
1. He’s Not Afraid to Tackle Adversity
First of all, Captain America straight up punched Hitler in the face. I can’t
think of a more perfect example of tackling adversity. Bloggers need to be brave
enough to stand against the current when necessary, to publish a new opinion that
might not be the most popular, but is honest and true to their voices.
And furthermore, Captain America shows how the little guy can stand up against
powerful enemies (granted, with a little boost from science). And this is true for
bloggers as well. If you would like to start blogging but are afraid to get into the
game so late for fear of competition, you can take a page from Captain America’s
book. Never be afraid to express your opinion on your blog, even if it’s an
unpopular one. The audience you attract with your authentic voice will be far more
valuable than an audience you attract by forcing yourself to “go with the flow.”
2. His Super-Soldier Stamina Would Come in Handy for Writing 100 Blog Posts a Day
Speaking of that super soldier serum, it would probably come in pretty handy if
Cap decided to become a power blogger – he could write hundreds of blog posts every
day. Whether it was writing 100 posts on teen Halloween costumes modeled after himself, or the time he saved the world from a
rapid aging poison created by Christopher Lee (more on that later), he would have
plenty of material to keep him busy. But more importantly, he would have the stamina
to keep the content flowing.
And while the average blogger won’t be able to keep up with that much writing, it
is important to keep that dedication in mind. You can’t expect to attract thousands
of readers after only a few high quality posts. And it can be tough to stay
motivated when your hard work doesn’t immediately pay off. But the important thing
is to keep publishing content. A site full of great content can’t help but attract a
3. He Has Tons of Free Time
Now let’s ignore the recent Chris Evans portrayal and look back to the Reb Brown
version of Captain America for a moment: a 1979 TV movie attempt by Universal that
featured our favorite B action star portraying Steve Rogers Jr., the son of the
original Captain America. After reluctantly following in his father’s footsteps, the
new Captain shows us that his version of the hero has little to do but drive around
the countryside in a panel van, fighting only once by sliding a row of pork slabs
into bad guys wielding guns. And for full coverage of that movie (and it’s doomed
sequel costarring Christopher Lee), the Spoony Experiment offers a hilarious review.
Bloggers need a great deal of free time to practice their craft, research new
article topics, and write content for their blogs. Captain America, if we’re to
believe Universal’s take, has plenty of time to spare. Enough to paint pictures of
cats in the park and help old ladies cash their welfare checks without being chased
by hoodlums looking for a free ride. So Captain America wouldn’t have any problem
securing an hour to write another top 10 list.
4. He’s Been Dead Before
Well, kind of. This is a tricky issue in Captain America lore. In The Death of
Captain America, we join the hero as he is being led away to stand trial for
opposing super-powered being registration laws that the Feds are attempting to
enforce. Although this sounds “X-citingly” familiar, tragedy awaits our hero in the
form of Crossbones, a sniper working on behalf of Red Skull. Captain America is shot
in the back by the sniper, then shot in the stomach several more times by a
hypnotically controlled Sharon Carter. But it turns out that Captain America doesn’t
die – Sharon’s gun simply transports his being to an alternate existence within
space and time.
But either way, who wouldn’t be interested in that whole debacle? Whether Captain
America died or was sent to some new position in space-time, there’s little doubt
that the story would interest a few readers. Any blog offering the correct answers
to “What is the Universe?” and “Is there really a God?” is certainly going to be
added to my RSS feed.
5. He’s Uber-Patriotic
If Spiderman 2 taught us anything, the American flag either sells tickets or
fills a movie theatre with groans of cheap patriotic appeal nabbing. But with
Captain America, you get the feeling that his patriotism is truly genuine. From
fighting the evil Axis powers during World War II, to stopping an evil mastermind
from blowing up Phoenix, Arizona with a neutron bomb (thanks Reb Brown), Captain
America is so patriotic that he can’t help having his country in his name. All the
other posers just have pests in theirs.
So Captain America’s authentic patriotic motif would surely come through in his
blog, and would appeal to a wide audience of readers (from America anyway). After
all, living in the United States and not being interested in what Captain America
has to say is a lot like living in New York City and thinking that Spiderman is a
villain (well… maybe that’s a bad example). Still, Cap is distinctive in his
patriotism and people would want to hear his opinions about various issues affecting
the country. However, without giving away any spoilers, something tells me it’ll be
a while before we have the chance to see Captain America’s new blog. Anybody have a
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